10 signs you’re a perfectionist
How to Tell If You’re A Perfectionist
Are you wondering if you’re really a perfectionist or just someone who likes to accomplish their goals? Here are 10 signs you might be a perfectionist from a licensed therapist.
10 Signs You’re a Perfectionist: How to Recognize the Traits
Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword. While it can push you to achieve high standards, it often comes with stress, anxiety, and an endless feeling of “not enough.” Recognizing the signs of perfectionism is the first step toward managing it in a healthy way. Here are ten common traits that suggest you might be a perfectionist.
1. You Set Unrealistically High Standards
Perfectionists tend to set goals that are nearly impossible to achieve. While it’s great to aim high, these standards often create pressure that leads to stress and frustration when reality falls short.
Example: Instead of aiming for progress, you expect to master a skill instantly or achieve a flawless outcome on the first attempt.
2. You’re Highly Critical of Yourself (and Others)
Do you often find yourself nitpicking your work or the efforts of those around you? Perfectionists tend to have an inner critic that constantly points out flaws. This self-criticism extends to others, making it hard to delegate or collaborate.
Example: You may spend hours reviewing minor details in a report or feel frustrated when someone doesn’t meet your high standards.
3. You Procrastinate to Avoid Imperfection
Perfectionists are often procrastinators. The fear of not doing something perfectly can lead to putting it off altogether. It’s not laziness—it’s a way of avoiding the anxiety that comes with the possibility of failure.
Example: You delay starting a project until the last minute, not because you don’t care, but because you fear it won’t turn out perfectly.
4. You Fear Failure Intently
For perfectionists, failure feels like a personal reflection of worth. Instead of viewing mistakes as opportunities to learn, they become a source of shame or embarrassment. This intense fear of failure can stop you from trying new things.
Example: You avoid challenges or opportunities because the thought of not excelling terrifies you.
5. You Struggle to Celebrate Success
Even when you achieve something great, do you focus more on what could have been better? Perfectionists often downplay their accomplishments because they see what didn’t go as planned rather than what went well.
Example: After receiving praise for a project, you might fixate on the minor details you think weren’t perfect instead of enjoying the recognition.
6. You Have Difficulty Delegating
Since perfectionists have high expectations, they often believe that no one else can meet their standards. This makes it difficult to trust others with tasks, leading to overworking and burnout.
Example: Instead of delegating part of a project, you do it all yourself, believing others won’t do it “right.”
7. You Focus on Results Over the Process
For a perfectionist, the journey often feels less important than the destination. The process of learning, growing, or improving gets overshadowed by the need for a perfect outcome.
Example: You might rush through the learning stages of a new skill, frustrated that you aren’t an expert immediately.
8. You’re Afraid of Criticism
Perfectionists often have a fragile relationship with feedback. While they crave validation, they fear any form of criticism, seeing it as a confirmation that they aren’t good enough.
Example: When receiving constructive criticism, you might feel personally attacked or become defensive, even if the feedback is helpful.
9. You Experience All-or-Nothing Thinking
Perfectionists tend to see things in black and white. If something isn’t perfect, it’s viewed as a complete failure. There’s no middle ground, which can lead to harsh self-judgment and disappointment.
Example: You view an 85% score as a failure because it wasn’t 100%, even though it’s still a good result.
10. You Have Trouble Relaxing
Since perfectionists are always striving for improvement, they often feel guilty when relaxing or taking time off. Resting feels unproductive, and there’s a constant push to be doing more or achieving something.
Example: Even on vacation or during downtime, you might feel anxious or think about all the things you “should” be doing.
I’m a perfectionist… Now what?
Perfectionism can be exhausting, and it often leads to stress, burnout, and dissatisfaction. Recognizing the signs is the first step toward overcoming it. If you see yourself in these traits, remember that it’s okay to strive for excellence without demanding perfection. If you need more help embracing progress, accepting mistakes, and practicing self-compassion, reach out to me to work on reducing perfectionism.
About the author, Allison Barton, LMFT
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California. I specialize in Anxiety, Perfectionism, and Trauma. I primarily utilize Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) when working with clients. I am also trained in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), mindfulness skills, solution focused therapy, and family systems.
